It's no secret, especially if you know me, that I have abused my body for a long time. No, I don't do (have never done) drugs, I don't drink (have only ever done so socially) and I quit smoking over 12 years ago. I don't have an eating disorder and I don't harm myself physically (ie. cutting or burning, etc). My vice has always been food. I have, what I would consider to be, a food addiction... I love to eat... all foods but especially sweets. I'm also what would be considered a Yo-Yo dieter. I gain a bunch of weight only to lose a bunch of weight to, once again, gain a bunch of weight (I'm not talking 5-10lbs, more like 50-60lbs +).
Last June, I finally figured out the key to losing and keeping weight off and that was by using my Fitbit and measuring calories in vs. calories out... simple! Why it took me almost 40 years to find this solution is beyond me BUT... herein lies the problem that I am faced with now.
Each time we Yo-Yo, all of the weight we gain back is fat and fat takes up WAY more space than muscle so my skin is very stretched. I have a LOT of loose skin, all over my body... my stomach, my legs, my arms... the only area that seems to be spared from the loose skin dilemma is my face.
This past weekend, I was wearing leggings (tight leggings) and when I was standing up, I felt like I looked great... I have been walking everyday for a year and a half and have some definition in my legs now but when I sit down, the legs spread out like nobodies business. Likely, I am the only one that notices this but it's still something that bothers me. When I lie down on my side, my stomach spreads out like a pancake. When I bend over at the waist... my stomach hangs like a loose sack of whatever fills a loose sack and my boobs... my boobs look like cow udders. You think I'm kidding but they are literally just skin with no fat underneath. No part of my naked body makes me feel good about myself which leaves me constantly asking the question, "Does this look okay?" or "Do I look fat in this?".
Today while I was on one of my many walks around the building that I work in, the question came to me, "Are we ever truly happy with how we look?". The answer is honestly, no... I don't think anyone is ever truly happy with their body and everyone is looking to fix something.
On that walk, I started thinking of all the people I know (follow on Instagram...same thing) who have gone through major weight loss and followed that up with body sculpting or contouring (ie. surgery) to fix the loose skin problems. These people spent THOUSANDS of dollars on surgeries that will make the loose skin problem go away but instead, left them with scars that will likely cause the same self-conscious feelings. I'm not in the market to get these surgeries... I don't want them nor could I afford them. So I have decided, today, that I am going to stop making excuses for my loose skin... I am going to stop looking at my body negatively and instead, look at it as a miraculous machine that lets me walk every single day... that has allowed me to Yo-Yo diet for YEARS and still gets up in the morning! I am vowing to be HAPPY with who I am and what I looks like!
No comments:
Post a Comment